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I don't really know what to write about myself. For as long as I can remember, I've always found a great difficulty when it came to writing or talking about myself. I guess you can call me self-less or rather indescrible. I wish I could tell you something great like I can fly and soar to great heights or that I've saved many lives from danger...but no, I can't because that would be a lie. I'm not average nor am I conventional but I'm not extraordinary either. I don't really know where I fit. Haha. But thats one of the many wonders of life...trying to discover just who you are but due to the fact thats quite a long process and life isn't exactly forgiving when it comes to time...I don't think I should waste it being lost. So I gotta go find the girl named Kashmir-Nashay and when I meet her I'll let you know all there is to know about her. Hence, the blog.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

My Father Taught Me...


to never write out of anger...

Ok...so I want this to be my last blog entry about break up #2.
This whole situation, when I think about it, just makes me sick to
my stomach. I'm done...my thoughts are somewhat clouded nowadays.
My brain is on overload...emotions are running high.
This time around I didn't go through the denial phase,
nope that point was made quite clear. This past week,
I've tried to use distractions to keep from losing myself,
breaking down or just simply avoid going insane. I feel like
I'm holding my breath and for some reason I can't exhale.
Every sentiment under the sun has been said...so I'm trying not
to repeat myself. This week started off really bad for me and it didn't
get any better. I can't seem to catch a break. Everytime I turn around
there was something just bringin me down...past my breaking point.
And I can't see past tears and stress. It's like I was able to smile
long enough just before happiness was snatched away from me.
My "best friend" is gone, I'm just another ex-girlfriend...
I hate feeling lost and confused. Everything I knew before this
is so gone...except my Autumn. I'm so unfocused now.
My dream of lies just got interrupted by a nightmare of
truth. But c'est la vie Kash...c'est la vie.
I'm done;
I can't do this anymore...

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