The Phillies Won!!!!

I can't tell you about the game nor the series...

but I was there [at the parade] and I had fun. lol For starters...

I know "jack squat" about sports so for me to be

celebrating their victory is rather strange but

hey, when an oppurtunity calls for fun, why must I refuse?

It was really wild down on broad st.

my families...

Some people try to compare their families to others.

Some complain about the flaws that their families carry

so boldly. Some even cower with embarrassment in

regards to those loud flaws. But despite our lackadasical

manner towards perfection with in our families, its what

sets us apart from others, our defining element. Some

learn to accept the flaws and love unconditionally. Sometimes

the connection isn't always set on a solid foundation and in some ways

branch out, to find others to fill that void in which something is missing.

Sometimes we even find ourselves in a family; not by birth

or blood, but by a matter of being in the "right place at the

right time". I personally have about 3 families.

The Blood; My Backbone...without them I would probably be

face down and ass up in some shit. The ones most deserving

of your un-condtional love because for me they've been there

since the beginning. The Chosen;The select few...we quarrel

but love keeps us together. The ones that surprise me with the

fact that we're unbiological. The Unintentionals; The ones I

seemed to have stumbled upon and can't seem to tip toe away!

With every waking moment we spend together I don't know

where I would be without them.

...and once again.

"fool me once, shame on me...fool me twice, shame on you"

I'm not going to blog about this any further...this is it. I know I said I would do things differently before or what not...but this time I actually going to put some effort in it. I going to walk away from the situation... and I'm going to grow from this. I'm not going to wallow in the depression stage asking and crying about what I could of done better...apparently it's not that deep anymore. Suffering is an option that i'm not going to choose this time. I'm young and I have a life ahead of me that I'm going to take control over. I made a promise to myself and I said I'm not going to let anything or anyone distract me from what I need to do. Tears dry on their own...scars will heal. I'm going to be ok. Taking it one day at a time.

Pensive.

Nature is trying to hold onto the little bit innocence that the world got raped of a long time ago.
I sometimes refuse to read the newspaper because of the crazy shit that people do to each other,
but ignorance has pushed us nowhere. In general, we're all lost. Paranoia takes advantage of a quiet morning. Fear controls your judgement. It's a sad sad world and we can't always downplay its unfairness with "c'est la vie" because somethings are just not right. Why must we accept such things. The thought of peace?...I hold onto it at time and throw it away at others.

Made Permanent:

C'est La Vie: That's Life
[Say Lah Vee]

you can find it strategically placed on the lower left.

simple black pigment painfully

embedded underneath the skin . . .

accepting things for the way they are and

not how you'd have them to be...

Myspace About Me...

I'm the Kashmir girl...with the "get up and go" mentality, since I've been a commuter at Cabrini College. Yeah, I'm older than you think...or not. I'm almost-"barely legal"...18 [currently 17, key word: almost]. I have the munchies like someone coming down off their Mary-Jane high, I haven't been dancing much...so I'm gaining lbs. But hey! Then that means there is just more to love. Despite what you may think, your wrong, Haha! None of what you know is proven, get some evidence to support your hypothesis. I'm rambling yes, but I'm as right as this here spell check, even that is flawed...so what does that make me; a mere human...I never cease to expand on my talents. I'm famous for my rambling so allow me to translate. I'm not one to judge or be judged, so get more acquainted if your mind inquires about me. I'm not extraordinary, just different; so don't label me as weird. Thats pretty much it. I have more of a "see it to believe it" type of personality, when i'm in action, so me typing all of this is just really a waste of time...not like your reading this anyway. So I'm just going to walk away now. Deuce!

Crayola Color Pencils;

leaving everything to the imagination and illustrating whatever comes to mind. one of the many things connecting me to my sanity. I find an escape in my art...the sketch of a pencil unlocking the excuse from my boredom. the carful yet care-free shading that illuminates the page with iridescent colors of my choice. the funny thing about art is that the only limits there are, are the ones you place on yourself. and I refuse to limit my artisitic expression. I couldn't bare the silence of a blank page. Hence, the left side shall fall subject to my mindless doodles.

Public Transportation pt. 3 + PMS

So, post morning thought and after tending
to my morning hunger, I went and waited on
the bus...just like I usually did several mornings
previous to this particualar one. Now one of the
many misfortunes about public transportation is
dealing with other peoples pissy attitudes.

sometimes public transportation just

makes me so damn irritated. Today the

bus driver snapped on me. Yeah the bitch
had a nerve to have a attitude early in the
morning. I don't have the time to be dealing
with ignorant ass bus drivers. Don't get mad
at me because of your whack ass career choices.
I could give two shits about whether your day is
going the way you like it to or not...
If you don't want to deal with people on a daily
basis, get a different fucking job. Its not my fault
you choose to be a professional driver. Fuck you
and your crusty ass bus. Its nice to know how
much skill it requires for you to just sit on your ass
all damn day and press buttons. Big fucking deal.

despite what you have read

from above, i have nothing

against those who work in

the field of public transporation;

the bus driver today just pissed

me off. True I cut at the job

description of this particular

position but hey when your in

an venting...you can't censor

yourself.

Cosmic Journey

Leaving the state of oblivion...and off to better places.

put into the light of day
I felt the need to keep my thoughts to myself for a while
the product of an aging world
everything and everyone around me is changing
i lost sleep and i don't know where to find him
and you went away for a while...did you miss me?
but you just crossed my mind,
yeah, I'm waiting for the phone to ring...
my heart might answer it before

I get the chance to say hello
so i know my dreams aren't too far away.
but your my reality and thats more efficient than anything I know.
off your lips, to my ears, and into my heart.
i love you...
in just the hint of a second
your world was mine again...
in your heart and by your side
is where I'll always stay.

Today...

Alright so I haven't exactly been

blogging lately, which is very un-

like myself. My mind hasn't

exactly been where I want it to be

andI kind of lost my inspiration.

But I'm getting myself together.

Today was alittle off for me but...

like I said I'm still getting my ish

together. Everything is trying to

stabilize.

Ignorance is bliss...cherish it.

I pour my mind out into the empty atmosphere,

wasted talent leaks over the edge...I failed to

catch the rays of the sun's smile while standing

in the shadows of your absence. Here I sit

and ponder...my thoughts feud with

memories and events of the past

and present. Posted sticky notes

of memories of you in the frontal

lobe of my brain. Dancing down the

road of nostalgia...a place where

nothings the same. Will things ever

change? Keep hope alive.

80's Baby and a Half...

.:Before:.

[ After ]

October 2, 2008 . . .

I decided to go out and dance my pain

away...slowly but surely. I was down

the whole day, and then the next thing

you know, I turn into the "life of the party".

The theme was 80's...you know the year

where "Yo MTV Raps" was pop'n and

matching was for loser. Like Freakin A.

They're trying to bring it back but you

can't try to bite authenticity. So anyways,

I didn't exactly dress 80's...but i did rock my

peace sign the whole night.

Kash & Kita: Kickin It Old School...

I don't want to be in love anymore...[tears]

Long Way To Happy...

Happiness is just about... 200 more light years
away. Keep trying though...

My Father Taught Me...

to never write out of anger...

Ok...so I want this to be my last blog entry about break up #2.

This whole situation, when I think about it, just makes me sick to

my stomach. I'm done...my thoughts are somewhat clouded nowadays.

My brain is on overload...emotions are running high.

This time around I didn't go through the denial phase,

nope that point was made quite clear. This past week,

I've tried to use distractions to keep from losing myself,

breaking down or just simply avoid going insane. I feel like

I'm holding my breath and for some reason I can't exhale.

Every sentiment under the sun has been said...so I'm trying not

to repeat myself. This week started off really bad for me and it didn't

get any better. I can't seem to catch a break. Everytime I turn around

there was something just bringin me down...past my breaking point.

And I can't see past tears and stress. It's like I was able to smile

long enough just before happiness was snatched away from me.

My "best friend" is gone, I'm just another ex-girlfriend...

I hate feeling lost and confused. Everything I knew before this

is so gone...except my Autumn. I'm so unfocused now.

My dream of lies just got interrupted by a nightmare of

truth. But c'est la vie Kash...c'est la vie.

I'm done;

I can't do this anymore...